Edward Elric, a host!
by E.P. Wat.s
Summary: Al dies and Ed has given up alchemy, deciding it's to blame for the loss of his brother. after one final transmutation, Ed finds himself once again at Ouran Academy, and reunited with a certain blonde idiot from a past transmutation error.
1. Chapter 1

**i wrote this a few months ago and completely forgot about it. i reread it and thought 'huh. this could be fun to work with...' and seeing as i ended my bleach ouran fic and i kinda enjoy writing with the host club i thought why not. **

**disclaimer: i dont draw therefore i dont own either.**

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"Al!" Ed screamed, running to the empty suit of armor. "Al no!" He didn't resist the tears that now ran freely down his cheeks. "Al..." he muttered, lifting the armor slightly. "Al please...please Al." He pleaded, gradually increasing in volume. "Please Al! Talk to me! Al!"  
"Edward..." Lt. Hawkeye said gently, placing her hand on his shoulder. He didn't seem to notice, nor did he care.  
"Al...Al...brother...he's...he's gone..." he muttered.  
"Fullmetal, you did it! You beat the homon-" The Colonel stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the sight before him. He looked down at the lifeless armor, his eyes widening in horror.  
"He...he was all I had left and...now he's gone...he's gone." Ed said, trying to stop the tears that were streaming down his face.  
"Colonel, we need to get him to the hospital. He's bleeding badly. And his automail is in need of replacement..." Hawkeye said, obviously trying to get Ed away from there. Roy, getting the message, nodded and tried to help Ed stand, picking him up and carrying him bridal style when Ed refused his help.

Ed awoke to the sounds of an argument.  
'Great wake up call...' he sat up, thinking of something snarky and smart assed to say, but all he could get out was a weak groan. Everyone turned to look at him, the room growing uncomfortably silent.  
"Edward..." Mustang said awkwardly. "You're awake."  
"Yeah. No shit Colonel." Ed said irritabley. He looked around the room and noticed someone missing. "Where...Where's Al?" When no one answered he became frustrated. "Colonel where's Al?"  
"Fullmetal...Your brother is...he's..." he took a deep breath. "Your brother...I'm sorry to say this but he...he died." Ed's eyes widened in horror.  
"Wh-what? Colonel this...this isn't funny Colonel!"  
"Ed...I wasn't kidding. I wouldn't joke about this." The events from the day before played out in his mind.  
"No...Al..." he bit down on his lip to fight the tears away.  
"Fullmet-"  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Ed screamed, leaping to his feet. "Don't. Call. Me. That. I only took that name to save him. I don't ever want to be the State Alchemist Edward Elric again. I swear it on Truth's Gate I will never use alchemy again."  
"What? Ful-" Mustang began, only to be interupted.  
"Don't call me that!"  
"Edward get a hold of yourself! You aren't thinking straight!"  
"No! I will never use alchemy again! I am no longer the Fullmetal Alchemist!"  
"Then you'll have to go and become a normal teenage boy! Do you want that? Do you want that?" Mustang was yelling. He was furious. He didn't want Ed to do this. He had seen people throw away their lives when someone they loved died but he never thought Edward would.  
"Maybe I do! Maybe I do want that!" Edward shouted back. He didn't get why the Colonel wouldn't listen to him. He didn't understand why Roy was trying to make him change his mind.  
"You'll have to leave Amestris then. And all the nearby nations. You'll have to go as far from here as possible. Because as long as you're here...As long as you're here you will always be the Fullmetal Alchemist." Edward glared at him.  
"Fine. Take me as far from here as you can. Just let me resign." Mustang looked away, not wanting Ed to see his face, which was covered with a look of defeat and disappointment.  
"Fine." He muttered. "I'll see what I can do." He left, leaving an awkward tension in the air. Ed returned to the bed, exhausted from all the arguing and immediatley fell asleep. Everyone else slowly left after wards. A few days later, Ed walked into the military office and turned in his watch and title. He then went straight to Mustang's office to be shipped out of Amestris.  
"So where am I going Colonel?" He asked impatiently.  
"Hold on a minute Full- er, Edward." He replied, searching through stacks of papers for something. "Ah, here it is." He pulled a picture of a transmutation circle out of the middle of a stack, and handed it to Ed. "You'll have to do one last transmutation."  
"What's it do?" He studied the circle. It wasn't the simplest thing ever, but it still didn't look too complex.  
"It'll take you far away from here."  
"...alright."  
"Go find a large empty place to perform the transmutation. Oh and by the way, I'm being promoted to Fuher. Goodbye Edward." Roy said stiffly, shoving Ed out of his office.  
"Geez someone's in a bad mood." He muttered as he headed towards the remains of his battle with father.

He looked around to make sure no one was nearby, and clapped his hands together.  
'Goodbye everyone.' He thought as he slammed his hands down on the newly drawn transmutation circle. It lit up and momentarily blinded Ed. When his vision cleared, he was surrounded by white. The only thing there with him was the white sillouette of a man, with an arm and a leg, and a giant gate.  
"Truth..." Ed muttered.  
"Welcome back young alchemist."  
"What's the toll this time?" Ed asked angrily, wanting to get straight to the point.  
"None this time. In fact, I owe you something." His one flesh arm began to disappear, and Ed felt his automail arm go as well. Ed looked at his shoulder and watched as his arm reappeared.  
"Wh...What?" He stuttered.  
"Your brother's soul returned. I owe you your arm. Now go ahead," he said, pointing to an opening gate beside Ed. "Go through. And in exchange..."  
'I knew this would happen. Damn bastard.' Ed thought.  
"You will be wiped from all of Amestris and the nearby nation's minds. Like you never existed. Goodbye." He said cheerfully.  
"What? Wait! No! Wai-" Ed screamed as the black hands dragged him through the gate.

Ed was depositted, rather rudely, on the ground outside a large pinkish building.  
"Dammit Truth. Can't you stick to what you say? I thought you said no toll." He muttered as he stood. He looked around, decided he was hopelessly lost, and looked at the building in front of him.  
'Maybe someone in there can help me.' He thought as he pushed open the front gate and proceeded to walk onto the grounds. 'What's up with this place? It's all...pink.' He opened the door, and his face visiably drained. 'Holy shit...this place is huge!' He took a step foreward and slammed into someone who ran out of nowhere.  
"Ah! I'm so sorry!" The boy said.  
"Uh...sure. No problem." Ed said, helping the boy to his feet.  
"..." the boy stared at Ed, studying him. "I don't recognize you. Are you new?"  
"What? Oh. No I mean...I'm just lost."  
"Oh. Well if you want I can help you out." The boy said, smiling slightly.  
"Yeah? Alright. Thanks." Ed said. He reached out a hand. "Edward Elric."  
"Edward Elric?" The boy said, making an odd face. "Your name sounds foreign."  
"Uh yeah. I'm not from here."  
"Oh? Where are you from? I'm Haruhi Fujioka by the way." He said, shaking his hand.  
'Shit. Should I say Amestris? I doubt it exists here...'  
"Uh..Amestris. And it's nice to meet you."  
"Amestris? Where's that?" Haruhi asked, cocking his(her) head.  
"Um...it's in the East?" Ed said.  
"Alright then." Haruhi glanced down at his(again, her) watch. "Oh shoot! I'm late! Um you wouldn't mind waiting for me to help you would you? I have to get to the uh...club." she said, making a face. "If you want you can come with me but..."  
"Alright. Its not like I have anywhere to be." Ed said shrugging.  
"Alright, but I hope you're ready to run." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him after her as she ran to Music Room 3.  
"So what exactly is this club of your's?" Ed asked, looking to break the silence, and keep the heavier sound of his automail footsteps from being too noticable as they ran.  
"Hm? Oh uh...you'll see." Haruhi said, laughing awkwardly. Ed raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. Nothing that is, until he was bombarded with rose petals.  
"What the hell?" He asked loudly, spitting out petals that had found their way into his mouth.  
"Sorry." Haruhi said, laughing at Ed's attempt to de-petal himself. "I should have warned you about that."  
"Haruhi~!" A tall blonde flew out of no where and glomped Haruhi.  
"Ah! Senpai get off!" She said, trying to pry said blonde off.  
"Haruhi why are you so mean to dadd-" Tamaki said, stopping mid sentence when he noticed Ed. His eyes widened and lit up. "Eddy?" He said excitedly. Ed turned to look at him, his eyes widening the second he looked at Tamaki's face.  
"Shit." He said, jumping out of the way as Tamaki jumped towards him. He clapped his hands together, preparing to transmute then stopped.  
'No. You aren't an alchemist anymore. You won't use alchemy.' He lowered his hands and took a deep breath.  
"Um...Senpai? Do you know him?" Haruhi asked.  
"Of course Haruhi!" Tamaki said in a sing songy voice. "We met before the Host Club existed~!"  
"Yeah and he was just as annoying then." Ed spat, a little too harshly. Tamaki retreated to his corner of sorrow.  
"Senpai get out of the corner. The guests will be coming any second now." That got Tamaki's attention.  
"Ah! I have a brilliant idea!"  
"Uh oh." Ed muttered. He had witnessed other 'brilliant ideas' from Tamaki the last time they met.  
"Edward Elric, starting today you are a host!" Tamaki said happily.  
"..." Ed didn't know how to respond. He had many profanities he wished to hurl at the older(*cough cough* taller *cough cough*) blonde but kept them in.  
"Senpai, Edward doesn't go here. If he isn't a student he can't join."  
"Oh...right..." Tamaki said sadly. He looked at Ed. "How long are you staying?" He asked.  
"..." Ed looked sadly at him. "...forever." he said too quietly for Tamaki to hear.  
"What?" Tamaki asked.  
"I said...I'm staying forever." Tamaki stared at him in shock.  
"What? But what about your home? You were so eager to get back last time. And your brot-" Ed turned and punched the wall as hard as he could before Tamaki could finish the word. It may not be automail any longer, but his arm was still strong enough to dent the wall. All the hosts who had only been halfway paying attention stopped what they were doing and stared. Kyoya would've said something about Ed needing to pay for repairs, but he could sense the seriousness of the moment and kept to himself.  
"E-Eddy?" Tamaki asked quietly. He could've sworn he saw a tear roll down Ed's cheek.  
"Don't...don't you DARE mention my brother. Someone like you...isn't worthy enough to mention him." He took a deep shakey breath. "I'm not worthy enough to mention him..." Haruhi stepped foreward and placed a hand gently on Ed's shoulder.  
"Are you ok?" She asked gently. He shook his head.  
"He's gone..." he muttered. "Its all my fault..."  
"Huh?" Haruhi asked, not quiet sure what he was talking about.  
"Its all my fault!" Ed shouted in a pained, sad voice, sinking to his knees, tears streaming down his face. "Al's gone because of me!" Tamaki's eyes widened. He quickly turned to Kyoya.  
"Kyoya, cancel all club affairs for the day." Kyoya nodded. "And every one, please go home. I'd like to talk to Ed-kun in private." Everyone nodded and began to file out. Everyone except for Haruhi.  
"Senpai...what's going on?" She asked him quietly.  
"Edward's brother...is..." he turned to Ed, clenched his teeth and punched him square in the jaw, causing him to fly back a bit. "Get a hold of yourself!" He shouted. "Look at you! You're pathetic! Alphonse would hate to see you this way! He'd want you to be happy! To smile! Smile Ed! Smile! If you really love your brother you'd be happy, for him! Be happy for Al's sake!" Ed stared at Tamaki, eyes wide. All the things he said were true.  
"You're right..." he said quietly. "I am pathetic...Al would hate seeing me this way." He picked himself up and walked over to Tamaki. He looked up at the blonde and smiled weakly. "You're right. He'd want me to smile." He hugged Tamaki, it was obvious he didn't want to, but forced himself to anyway. "Thank you. You're just what I need right now. I know Al is probably thanking you too..." Tamaki hugged him back.  
"You don't need to thank me Ed. Its the truth. The truth requires no thanks." He released Ed and smiled down at him. "Welcome back Edward Elric."

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**i realize the fact that tamaki knows Ed could be kinda confusing but dont worry. theres like...explanation flash backs eventually. (i hope)**

**review please!**

**constructive criticism, thoughts, just to say you like it, whatever. just please review!**

**and fav and follow or whatever... **


	2. Chapter 2

**i completely forgot to type this up! im sorry!**

**this is the first of many flashback chapters~ **

**disclaimer here.**

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"_Here we go AL. This is it. We're going to get our bodies back this time, I'm sure of it." Ed said, finishing the large complicated transmutation circle he was drawing. Al walked into the center and stood next to Ed._

"_but brother, what if it doesn't work?" Al asked worriedly._

"_Trust me Al. It'll work. I promise." Ed took a deep breath. "Ready?" Al nodded as well as a suit of armor can nod. Ed grinned slightly. "then let's do this." Both Elrics clapped their hands together and slammed them down onto the circle, which lit up and temporarily blinded them both. When the light subsided they were in front of a certain white silloute._

"_Truth." Ed growled. He'd been expecting to see him/it but that didn't mean he was happy about it._

"_Welcome back young alchemist. Oh, and your brother too." Truth grinned. The sadistic look in that single grin sent chills down Ed's spine. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"_

"_Shut up bastard." Ed said rather rudely. "We don't have time for this." Truth shook it's head._

"_No I'd say you didn't. you _are_ using…that kind of circle." _

"_So what's the toll?" truth's grin grew. _

"_It's your first time with this type of transmutation. I'll let you through with only one toll versus two, does that sound nice young alchemist? Like a discount in your super-markets." Ed glared, not caring for the comparison._

"_just get on with it." Several black arms shot out and latched on to Ed's one flesh arm. Ed's eyes widened. "You wouldn't." Truth grinned a more menacing grin than before._

"_You're right. I wouldn't." the arms reached out and covered Ed's throat. "You see young alchemist, I don't care much for your tone. If you ever decide to come back through here maybe I'll give you this back. A door to the Elric brothers' right opened and the black hands shot out, latching onto the two and pulling them in._

_Ed went to shout something rude back at Truth, and although his mouth opened, no sound came out. His eyes widened then narrowed. He then used a certain finger to pass his message on to Truth, the doors of the gate shutting after truth frowned at Ed's rudeness._

_Al came out of the gate first. He immediately stepped to the side so Ed would be able to make it through without colliding with him. When Ed did come out, he looked pissed. So pissed in fact Al was afraid to talk to him at first. After about five minutes of tense silence Al spoke._

"_Brother are you alright?" Ed opened his mouth to speak but again no sound came out. Frowning, Ed picked up a nearby stick and wrote on the ground: _I can't talk. Damn bastard Truth took it away or something.

_If they could, Al's eyes would have been huge, and then narrowed, filled with anger._

"_I can't believe it! Not only did it not work but Truth took away your ability to speak? Wait what are you writing?" Al looked at the ground and read what Ed had written._

Shut up. I know it didn't work. And where the hell are we?

_Al looked around and realized for the first time since arriving there that he had no idea where they were._

"_um…I don't know. How about we ask him?" Al suggested, pointing to a pubescent blonde boy peeking around a nearby bush. They boy jumped when he realized Al was pointing to him. He jumped out of his hiding spot and into the open, making an X with his arms._

"_Stay back foul alien creature!" he shouted. Al would have raised an eyebrow if he had any. Ed however did have eyebrows he could raise, and one had climbed up his forehead as the boy Ed dubbed insane continued speaking._

"_excuse me sir." Al said politely, cutting of the blonde's ranting. "can you tell us where we are?"_

"…_? You don't know where you are? Wow. You're a pretty stupid alien creature huh?" Al took great offense to that statement. "You're in Japan. Outside Suoh manor to be exact."_

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_**review, fav, follow~!**  
_

_****_**at least three more reviews and i'll write the next chapter faster.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I was on yahoo answers when I found a question that made me so effing mad its not even funny. This 27 year old woman was wondering how she could get her 13 year old daughter to stop paying attention to school work and get pregnant. She wants to be a "hip young grandmother" apparently. This just pisses me off. 13 years old! What kind of person wants their 13 year old to get PREGNANT? As a 13 year old girl, reading that pissed. Me. Off. The woman was around 14 when she had this kid. That right there explains why she's such a HORRIBLE parent. I'm sorry for venting but I just wanted to know if I'm the only one horrified by that. Because that just pissed me off.**

**Disclaimer: if I owned either of these series I wouldn't be writing a fanfiction. Fan implies I don't own...sadly.**

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The car pulled up outside the large house. Tamaki climbed out and walked up, nodding to the welcoming comitee of workers like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
Ed, however, was wide eyed in amazement. The place made him feel even shorter than normal buildings did.

"I forgot...you're rich." Ed said shaking his head, after catching up with Tamaki.

"Yeah. Anyway if you want, the room you used last time is available."

"Alright." Ed paused and looked up at the other teen's face. "...thanks again for letting me stay." He said quietly. Tamaki nodded and pulled Ed into a hug the shorter of the two did NOT want.

"Of course~! Anything for you Eddy~!" Tamaki said happily in a voice Ed would later describe as too sing-songy and happy to exist.

"Gah! Get the hell off idiot!" Ed shoved Tamaki off and scowled. "Don't do that." He growled. He muttered something else but Tamaki didn't catch it. Before he could ask Ed what he had said however, the small blonde had already retreated to the offered room.

Tamaki frowned. He could tell Ed was not happy still and he did not like it. He sighed.  
"Maybe if I let the twins hang out with him..." he mused quietly to himself. "They do have a bit in common."

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Ed accompanied Tamaki to school the next day, although the part where he had to get up early was not enjoyable in the least.

Tamaki had done his best to hold back a laugh at the sight of the half asleep Ed who slumped down the stairs in a backwards shirt, his coat only on one arm, and his hair sticking up and various places, not even up in the usual braid or ponytail. Ed had glared at him when a small laugh escaped when the smaller blonde had missed his chair when sitting down at the table.

"Dammit how do you do this every morning?" Ed asked with a yawn when he and Tamaki were in a car on the way to Ouran Academy. Tamaki smiled.

"I don't always. Some times I over sleep." He replied, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Haruhi usually gets mad at me when I do." He sighed happily at the thought of 'his beloved Haruhi'. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Haruhi? Is that the guy from yesterday who brought me to the club room?" Ed asked, remembering that said 'guy' had introduced him(her)self as soemthing that he was pretty sure was Haruhi.

"U-uh yeah. The g-guy." Tamaki laughed nervously. "Yeah Haruhi's a total man. Sh-he! He! He's very manly! Ha ha...ha...ha..." he trailed off, avoiding eye contact. Ed's eyebrow continued to be raised.

"Um...yeah. Sure."

'Maybe I should tell Eddy Haruhi's secret. I'm sure he would keep it. He's good at keeping secrets after all...I should ask Haruhi if she's alright with him knowing.' Tamaki thought as the car pulled up outside the large overly pink building.

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After Ed was forced to take an entrance exam of sorts(one he found boring and useless) Tamaki dragged him around to each of his classes while they waited for the results. Tamaki had convinced Ed to allow him to pay for acceptance into the school if he made it, something Ed had not wanted him to have to do.

"You don't have to pay it you know. I'll feel like I owe you." Ed grumbled uselessly.

"But Eddy~" Tamaki said happily. "I want to pay for you! And you won't owe me. Consider it a donation!" Ed's eyes narrowed.

"A donation, huh? So I'm some sort of charity case now?" He growled angrily. Tamaki gulped nervously.

"N-no, of course not! I just..." he'd start, finishing the sentence with incoherent mumbles. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah. But I will pay you back some day." He said stubbornly, causing Tamaki to sigh in defeat. He immediatley perked up as he caught sight of Haruhi walking towards them.

"Haruhi~!" He cried happily, launching forward and pulling the girl into a large hug.

"Senpai! Get off of me!" She yelled, trying in vain to pry him off. Tamaki reluctantly let go and pouted.

"Why don't you love daddy, Haruhi?" He asked sadly, a hurt expression on his face.

"Because you're not my dad idiot!" She then caught sight of Ed and his raised eyebrow watching her and Tamaki with a confused look on his face. "Oh, hello Edward. Its nice to see you again." She said, smiling. Ed nodded.

"Yeah. Nice to see you too." He glanced at Tamaki and then back to Haruhi, his gaze returning to Tamaki a few seconds later. "...are you gay or something?" Tamaki's mouth dropped open.

"No! I'm not! Why would you think that?"

"...you seem to have strong feelings for him." Ed replied pointing to Haruhi. It was then Haruhi's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Senpai you never told him? I would have thought you'd tell him immediatley." Ed frowned.

"Tell me what?" He asked sceptically. Tamaki quickly regained his composure, although he was still a little shocked at Ed's assumption about his sexuality.

"I'll tell you later!" Ed looked a little disappointed at this statement. He didn't enjoy not knowing what the other's knew, but as long as he'd get the answer eventually he could wait. As long as eventually and later translated to very soon.

"...fine." Ed said with a sigh.

"So Ed, would you like to come to the club with me today? If not I can have a car come and bring you home." Tamaki said, attempting to change the subject. Ed shrugged.

"I guess I'll come with you. I've got nothing better to do so I might as well find some way to waste time." Tamaki looked a little hurt by the fact that Ed had decided his club was a time wasting activity.

'Then again...it was formed for young ladies with too much time on their hands...' Tamaki thought as he, Ed, and Haruhi headed to music room three.

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**so i think im going to do like...every other chapter as a flashback chapter or something. i dont know. i guess it depends on what i feel like writing XD**

**review, fav, follow. etc!**


	4. Chapter 4

slack. i only spell checked half of this but in my defence, microsoft word was being stupid and kept

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_Ed frowned. Never in his life had he heard of this 'Japan' the boy had mentioned. He picked up the stick and wrote a quick message on the ground, nudging Al to get his attention.  
_  
Ask him where and what the hell Japan is.  
_  
Al would have been frowning at Ed if he had the ability to.  
"Brother I'm not going to be rude." Ed scowled, and changed the message._

Oh great and wonderful gentleman, where ever is this Japan you speak of?  
_  
Ed smirked at Al with a raised eyebrow as if to say 'is that better?' Or perhaps 'I'm such a smart ass, no?' Al sighed.  
"Um my brother wants to know where and or what Japan is. We've never heard of it..." the blonde, who's arms where still forming an X, frowned._

_"You've never heard of Japan? ...you aren't aliens are you?" Ed looked like he wanted to punch the kid for being so stupid. Al was silently fuming._

_"No. I'm not an alien. And neither is my brother. Now would you answer our question, please?" Al replied bitterly, trying to be polite. But after being accused of being, and nott being an alien, its a little bit hard to stay polite._  
_"Japan is a country." The boy replied._

_"What?" Al asked confused. "We've never heard of it. Um...how far away is it from Amestris?" It was Tamaki's turn to be confused._

_"Amestris? I've never heard of that." Then he smiled as an idea formed in his head. After a certain set of twins had accepted his invitation to join his host club only if he figured out which one was which, he was feeling pretty frustrated, and was close to giving up. But then he took a look at the short blonde standing next to the alien creature in front of him, an idea was born. And once an idea is born in the head of Tamaki Suoh, the idea grows and is not abandoned until proven impossible._

_"You! Small blonde alien guy!" The 'small blonde alien' twitched and clenched his fists, glaring daggers at Tamaki, obviously trying to remain calm after being called small. "I want you to assist me with something highly important!" Ed scowled, and wrote something on the ground._

_"Brother wants to know what this highly important something is." Al said. Ed was annoyed that Al hadn't read the message properly._

And just what the hell is this thing you think is so damn important?  
_  
"I am trying to start a host club at my school. I would like you to join!" Ed raised an eyebrow, and quickly jotted down an answer._

Hell no.

_"Brother says thank you for the offer bu-" Al was silenced by a pissed Ed knocking him to the ground._

Pass on my messages the right way!

_"Brother says um...hell no." Al said awkwardly. Tamaki looked slightly hurt._

_"But why not? You could do well! The long hair and odd eye color would draw girls to you fast!"_

Odd...eye color?  
_  
"Brother wants to know what you mean by odd."_

_"No one has gold eyes. Except for him apparently." Tamaki said, his mind going into hyperspeed mode to come up with more ways to convince Ed to join. He had no idea why, but he wanted him to be in the club._

I still say no.  
_  
"Brother sa-" Alphonse started, only to be interupted by Tamaki._

_"Why isn't he saying anything?" Tamaki asked innocently, and with genuine confusion._

_"H-he um...he lost his voice." Al said quickly, hoping the cover story was believable enough._

_"Oh. Alright." Tamaki sighed, deciding to go with the dranatic approach. "I guess there's no hope...I'll just return to my room and continue crying. Maybe the shadows of my woe will keep me company." He stumbled off in overdramatic fake sadness._

Ok. Have fun. My answer is still no. What the hell is a host club anyway?  
_  
"Um, excuse me but...what's a host club anyway?" Al asked, not knowing the answer either._

_"You don't know?" Tamaki grinned as the shook their heads. "Its a place where good looking young men with too much time on their hands entertain beautiful young women who also have way too much time on their hands."_

_Ed frowned. To him, that sounded_

really _stupid. He didn't get why Tamaki would be so dedicated to something that was basically a waste of time._

_"So, has your answer changed?" Tamaki asked hopefully. "I'll find you a place to stay!" He quickly added when Ed had started writing. Ed scowled. He knew him and Al would need a place to stay, but he really didn't want to particpate in something so stupid, especially when he and Al were going to be trying to get home. They couldn't do that if they were busy with some club. "Please~?" Tamaki pleaded, holding out the 'ea' in an annoying way._

_Ed sighed and nudged Al, hating himself for what his brother was about to pass along._

Fine. Just shut up already.  
_  
"Brother says fine." Al said, slightly confused by that. He had thought Ed would continue saying no._

_"Yes! Now to get the twins to say yes. Oh! My name is Tamaki Suoh by the way."_

_"Its nice to meet you Tamaki. I'm Alphonse Elric and my brother is Edward." Ed made a face and jabbed at Al's middle again. "But he prefers to be called Ed." Tamaki nodded._

_"Now, to figure out where you can stay..." Tamaki muttered to himself, remembering his earlier promise._

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**review, fav, follow, etc**

**bleh i failed social studies...my first f...even the guy who sits next to me who claims to have turned nothing in ever got a c...that stupid f looked really ugly on my report card...**

**good news! i might get the splint off next week(broken finger, dont ask.) i'll be able to type better! its hard to type with my left index/pointer finger in a splint...so hopefully i'll have less mistakes in my writing XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**i'm so sorry! its been so long since i updated! i feel so ashamed! in my defense:**

**d . gray - man. its AMAZING! i cant put it down! and when the library doesn't have it in i'm on the FUNimation website watching it. so blame Hoshino-sensei for my lack of updates.**

**this chapter might not be the best but thats mainly cos i used this as a way to get my finger used to eing used again. its finally no longer broken! *sigh* every thing was so much easier when i didnt use it...**

**disclaimer: i still dont own.**

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Ed frowned as the blonde teen in front of him finished filling him in on everything. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the back of the couch.

"So what you're saying is that he's a she?" Ed looked over Haruhi and scowled. It was pretty obvious, and he felt really stupid for not noticing it already.

"Exactly. But you can't tell anyone! If my dear Haruhi's secret got out, it wouldn't be good." Tamaki said, attempting to hug Haruhi, only to be shoved away.

"..." Ed sighed. He had forgotten how annoying Tamaki could be. "Alright I won't tell anyone." He said rolling his eyes as Tamaki retreated to his corner of sorrow.

"So boss," Hikaru (or was it Kaoru...?) started, coming up behind Ed.

"Are you going to introduce us to your friend yet?" The other twin finished, standing on the other side of Ed. Leaning his head back the former alchemist's frown increased as he took in the twins. He was already bad at remembering who was who here, but twins would be nearly impossible.

"Ah! Yes! Of course!" Tamaki said, quickly jumping out of the corner, somehow miraculously back to normal. The word bipolar crossed through Ed's mind as he watched Tamaki slide across the floor over to them. "Hosts assemble!" *

"Senpai, we're all already here." Haruhi said, sitting down on the couch across from Ed.

"Introduction time!" Tamaki cried happily.

"Oh, joy." Ed grumbled, rolling his eyes. He only half paid attention as the older blonde introduced everyone to him.

"And this everyone is Edward Elric!" Tamaki said, flopping down next to Ed and attempting a very much unwanted hug.

"Get off stupid bastard!" Ed shouted, attempting to pry the teen *cough cough* idiot *cough cough* off. Tamaki reluctantly let go.

"He'll be the newest member of the host club as soon as he's officially enrolled!" Ed frowned.

"When did I say I was joining?" He growled, causing Tamaki to flinch.

"U-um well...I just thought...that you'd do great in the club a-and u-um you're going to be new here s-so if you join it'll be easier to get adjusted a-and-..." Tamaki babbled, avoiding eye contact. Ed scowled.

"And what?" he asked, although he had a feeling he already knew what the older blonde would say.

"…and make friends faster…." Tamaki mumbled. Ed sighed, covering his eyes with his hand and leaning back against his seat.

"Who said I wanted to make friends?" he asked, slightly annoyed. He could feel the eyes of all the hosts on him, and he was starting to grow uncomfortable. If it weren't for the fact that he was one hundred percent sure he would get lost the second he opened the door, he would have gotten up and left.

"But Eddy, cant you at least let us be your friends?" Tamaki asked with puppy dog eyes Ed later dubbed very very VERY annoying.

"I hate to interrupt, but guests will be arriving any second now." Kyoya said, not looking up from his clipboard. Tamaki smiled deviously.

"Well then we'll get to see whether or not Ed has what it takes to be a host."

"For the last time I'm not joining your stupid club!" Ed shouted as everyone hurried to get read. Realizing that apparently he had no say in the matter, he gave up, deciding that there was no use arguing.

'Maybe I should just suck it up and join. It can't be that bad can it?' he thought as he stood up. With a sigh and went to see if there was anything he could do to help the hosts get ready.

:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:

"So Edward," One, in Ed's opinion, particularly annoying girl began. "Are you enrolling here at Ouran?" she leaned closer to him, causing Ed to indiscreetly slide further down the couch.

"Uh y-yeah. I should be starting soon." He said, still attempting to put distance between himself and the girls Tamaki had stranded him with.

"Your name sounds foreign. Where are you from?" another girl asked.

'Crap what was that country Tamaki told me I was "from" called again? It was um…'

"I moved around a lot. I don't uh remember where I'm originally from." He lied, glancing around at the other hosts, hoping one of them would answer his mental distress call, sadly, none did and he was bombarded with questions, many of which he found a little too personal for anyone to be allowed to ask.

Needless to say he nearly celebrated when the club closed.

"So Eddy, how was your first day of hosting?" Tamaki asked excitedly. He flinched at the intense rage radiating off of the small blonde.

"I hate you. I hate you the way the Colonel hates rain." No one understood what that meant, but they understood that Ed was pissed.

"But…the guests seemed to like you…" Tamaki offered weakly. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Yeah? Well they were annoying as hell." He replied standing and stretching. "So can we go home now? I'm hungry. And tired," Tamaki sighed.

"Alright. We can leave in a few minutes. We have to clean up first." Ed frowned and sighed in frustration.

"Alright." He said with a yawn before looking for some way to help, wishing he could leave.

* * *

**lame ending i know, but i couldnt think of anything else to write.**

**review, fav, follow~!**


	6. Chapter 6

**ok it's really short, sorta crappy, and not yet spell checked and crap but heres a new chapter. i tried, i really did, to make this chapter longer but my brain just wouldnt work. my AC broke(again!) and its hot as hell so im having trouble thinking. but yeah. heres a new chapter.**

**this one isnt a flash back chapter cos i couldnt think of another one yet. but yeah. im hoping the next chapter will be. and if not, next chapter will be like...Kyoya's POV.**

**disclaimer: i still dont own ouran or fullmetal.**

* * *

Tamaki burst into the room, glomping the still sleeping Edward. Ed scowled in his sleep, but didn't yet wake up. Tamaki frowned and poked his cheek.  
"Eddy~! Wake up~!" He said, both excitedly and loudly. When the other boy didn't respond he got frustrated. He started shaking Ed, shouting at him to wake up. That earned him a punch to the face that knocked him to the floor.  
"Let me sleep bastard..." Ed mumbled, laying back down.  
"But Eddy, we'll be late for school!" Tamaki shouted, standing up. Ed scowled again, realizing that Tamaki was right. Although that still didn't mean he would get up.  
"Five more minutes..."  
"You said that last time." Ed sat up and stared at him oddly.  
"You...tried to wake me up already?" He asked, eyebrow raised. Tamaki nodded.  
"Mhm." Tamaki laughed, hiding a smile behind his hand. "You're adorable when you sleep by the way." Ed's eyes narrowed.  
"You watched me sleep?" Tamaki quickly shook his head.  
"No! No! I saw you both times I came to wake you up!" Tamaki had felt one of Ed's half asleep punches, and he didn't want to get hit by a wide awake punch. Ed rolled his eyes and forced himself to get up.  
"Where's that stupid uniform?" He asked, yawning.  
"Hanging in your closet." Ed nodded and went to get it, bringing it back and laying it out on the bed. He scowled at it. It was blue. He didn't like it.  
"Well, I'm going to start changing now." He said, knowing Tamaki wouldn't get the message.  
"Alright."  
"Don't you have somewhere else you should be?" He asked, hoping Tamaki would leave.  
"Nope." He felt his eye twitch. Tamaki could be pretty dense sometimes.  
"Get out so I can change idiot!" He shouted, chucking a pillow at the other teen. Tamaki yelped when it hit him square in the face. He quickly left, not wanting to irritate Ed anymore than he already had. Ed rolled his eyes, taking off the oversized shirt Tamaki had lent him to sleep in.  
"Geez. That guys such an idiot." He muttered, putting on the uniform.

* * *

When he had it all on, he picked up the tie and scowled. He still didn't understand how they worked. He could memorize the chemical make up of practically everything, yet he never learned how to tie a tie. He muttered some choice words after succeeding in tangling his hand up in the tie. He reluctantly went down to the dining room, finding Tamaki enjoying his breakfast.

"Ah! Ed you're done dres-what happened with your tie?" He asked, eyebrow raised.  
"I never learned. Fix it." Ed said rather rudely. But in his defence, he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and Tamaki had woken him up early. He was irritable, hated the color blue, and seriously loathed ties. Tamaki laughed and stood, walking over to Ed.  
"Alright, hold still." He took the tie and began untangling it. After a few minutes, he managed to untie Ed's hand and tie the tie correctly. Ed mumbled his thanks before rushing back to his room to brush his hair and put it up. Tamaki smiled after him, laughing a little. He still couldn't believe that Ed didn't know how to tie a tie.

* * *

"Ed wake up. We're here." Tamaki said, shaking Ed gentley.

"I'm not asleep idiot..." he mumbled back, sitting up. He rubbed at his eyes, yawning. "Let's go. The sooner we get inside the sooner we can go home." Tamaki laughed.  
"I guess that's true." He said, getting out. He smiled to the adoring fangirls gathered around the front of the building, Ed following close behind.

"So how long exactly do we have to be here?" he asked with a yawn.

"A few hours~" Tamaki replied happily, winking at a cluster of girls, causing the air to fill with shrill squeals.

"...great."


	7. Chapter 7

**I'M SO SORRY! It's been exactly a month and one day since I updated! I'm the salt of the earth! (( virtually cookie to all who got that referance. ))**

**Thanks for the reviews peeps~ I really am sorry I neglected this story for so long...I suck lol**

**This chapter is short. **

**Poorly written. **

**And sucks more than a straw. **

**Enjoy. XP**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

* * *

_"Thank you again for letting us stay with you Tamaki!" Al said for probably the twentieth time in the past hour._

_"You don't have to keep thanking me~ Oh by the way. Today I'll be going off an important mission." He jumped when his phone went off, not having expected it. He picked it up and read over the message._

What kind of important mission?

_"Well Eddy-"_

Don't call me Eddy.

_"But it's fuuun~" Tamaki smiled like an idiot, flopping down on the couch next to Ed, poking at his cheek. He glanced down as the smaller blonde shoved a phone in his face._

GET OFF!

_Tamaki moved away, not wanting to see what would happen if he made Ed angry._

_"Anywaaay~ I'm going on an important mission today! I'm recruiting members for my host club!"_

Oh. That stupid thing. I wouldnt call that important.

_"It is to important!" Tamaki whined._

_"Tamaki just ignore him. He's just mad right now." Tamaki smiled at Al and nodded. He then wouldn't shut up about his plans._

_"And I was hoping you two could come and help me out!"_

_"Sure!"_

hell no

_"Brother means yes."_

No i dont.

_"Pleaaaase Ed?" _

No.

_"Ok Tamaki~ We'll both help!"_

Al! I said no!

* * *

_'Ugh why am I even here? I could've stayed home without them noticing. Home...we have to get home. We need to get back. Who knows what those damn homunculi have done while we were gone. And my automail is starting to resist moving...I need it fixed...and-'_

_"Eddy~~ Come back to earth! No Space Cadets here!" Ed scowled and shoved the face full of smiling blonde idiot away from him._

What was so important you had to break my train of thought.

_He typed bitterly, hoping the idiot could convey his tone right. He had actually been very surprised by the phone Tamaki had given him. He had been about to write "_Phones need you to talk into them"_ when Tamaki had pulled out his old cell and quickly taught Ed how to text. He still wanted to know how exactly texting worked, how it got from one phone to the other, but he knew Tamaki's answer of "_I think there's magical space leprechauns who bring the words back and forth!" _was definetely wrong._

_"Eddy we're almost at the middle school. I need your help to figure out which one is Hikaru!" Ed raised an eyebrow, not sure how to respond to that. He just shook his head and kept walking._

_"Ah so you wanna fail again?" One twin asked, smirking at Tamaki._

_"Kaoru don't be so rude. I'm not always mean like that." The other twin whispered. Tamaki didn't seem to notice, but Ed did._

_"Alright, you should know the drill by now. Which one of us is Hikaru?"_

_"That o-" Tamaki was about to point when Ed shoved him over. He looked at the two for a long time, ignoring Tamaki's question of "_What was that fooooor?!"

_After a long period of silence and staring, he pointed to one of the twins, holding up his phone for them to read._

You're Kaoru.

_"Eddy what are you doing? That's Hikaru!"_

That's what they want you to think. Now lets go. You woke me up to early. I'm tired.

_He turned and started walking away, motioning for Al to follow him._

_"Ed wait!" He turned around and raised an eyebrow._

_"That's the wrong way Eddy! We go this way." Ed mentally facepalmed before hurrying after them, leaving the two twins in momentary shock. _

* * *

**There. I did it. I wrote a chapter. True it was ****more of an Uber-Straw, not a chapter but...whatever. It's still words that have to do with the story so it counts!**

**Review please...and tell me to stop being such a bitch to this story. Make me write more, and better! Please don't say this was disappointing or whatever. Cos I know that already. I wrote it after all. **

**I'll try not to forget it again! I swear I didn't mean to! XD**


	8. I really really do not like this

**Alright peoples I hate to do this, I really, really do but I'm going on hiatus for a while. School is becoming a bit too much for me to handle, so I'm just letting you all know that until I get my grades up I probably wont be updating. Maybe a few updates here and there but probably not often. Thanks for being all supportive or whatever about my writing, I'll study hard and try my best to get better grades before the end of 1st quarter. Thank you all, and farewell for now!**

**~ E.P. Wat.s**


	9. Chapter 9

**My haitus is over! I got my grades up and everything is good now! (Except my 75 in science but...)**  
**Its been forever since I worked on this one...**  
**Eh. I'll try to do more with it soon.**  
**Anywhoodles! To those of you who read A Long Year, you already know for that one but I'm in need of a beta for this story to. Anyone interested please pm or review letting me know!**  
**I don't own fullmetal alchemist or ouran high school host club.**

* * *

Not even halfway through the day, Ed decided he absolutely hated school. He knew everything science related already because of alchemy, and in practically every class, he kept accidentally writing his papers in code.

He absolutely loathed school.

Especially because in almost every class, a certain pair of twins sat on either side of him. They would do everything they could to piss him off, and they were succeeding.

"Hey, Haruhi." Ed whispered to the girl while the teacher's back was turned. "Do you think Tamaki wants flowers at his funeral?" She looked up from her paper and actually thought about it before answering.

"Yes. He'd probably want roses or something..." She replied.

"Get me a bunch of those." He whispered, grinning evily.

"Why?" She asked, hoping he wasn't seriously planning what she thought he was.

"I'm gonna kill him!"

* * *

At the end of the day, Ed gathered his papers and attempted to leave, only to be grabbed by both twins and dragged to the club room.  
"Damn it...I forgot I said yes to this stupid thing." He muttered, shoving them off. "Tamaki I want to go home. I'm tired and don't want to be here." He growled.

"We have couches in here. Take a nap~ the ladies will love it!" Edward scowled but sat down on one, taking off the god damn blue jacket, before laying down with a yawn. He was exhausted and didn't feel like arguing with an idiot.

The second he fell asleep, his hand pushing his shirt up exposing his stomach like always, Tamaki signaled for the twins to get cameras and take pictures. Kyoya began figuring out prices for the new Edward Elric photo books they would be selling.

* * *

Ed woke up a while later, having had a bad dream. He had managed to keep it from showing however, having practiced that in the past to keep Al and Winry from worrying about him. Rubbing his eyes and yawning loudly. He sat up and stretched, ignoring all the giggles and squeals around him. When he opened his eyes, he realized two things.  
1: there were girls everywhere  
2: they had been watching him sleep.

He opened his mouth to yell some very rude things at Tamaki, only for a peice of cake to be shoved in it.  
"Morning Eddy-chan! I just woke up too! Let's have cake gogether~~! 3" The growing crowded of girls squealed and 'awwwed!' loudly. Ed nommed on the cake, not having eaten anything since breakfast because Tamaki had forgotten to give him money for lunch.  
"Thanks Hunny." He mumbled, gratefully excepting a second peice from the lolita boy. Hunny smiled and sat on the couch next to him, quickly begining a comversation with the the ladies. Ed sighed, fixing his shirt and running his fingers through his messy hair, which had come out of its braid while he was sleeping.  
He just sort of nodded and smiled for the rest of the time, punching Tamaki hard in the face the second the last customer left.

* * *

**it's short, but it exists, and thats all that matters.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I know I just got back from hiatus but I need to take a break from...everything. I'm moving in two weeks, my depression got really bad, and I've started having panic attacks again, and I just...can't handle...just about anything right now...I feel horrible for this, but I need to do it...better to go on hiatus than just leave you all without saying bye, right? **

**I'm gonna try to get through this so I can come back to you all soon. Thanks for reading, following, faving, reviewing, whatever you did.**

** ~E. P. Wat.s**


	11. Chapter 11

**First of all, Happy Holidays!**

**Second!**

**I'm back! Let us rejoice rejoicingly!**

**Sadly, the notebook with all my new chapters written in it is at my om's place. ...in a box. And we won't have internet there until ..i dunno...March I think (love you comcast *sarcasm*) so yeah I probably won't have the new chapters of anything up for a little while. I'll try to have them up before January, but I make no promises. **

**Thank you for your patience~ *bows***

** ~E. P. Wat.s**


	12. Chapter 12

**I know it's been longer than I promised but I'm just losing ideas for this...I had it all planned out and knew exactly what I wanted to do with it, but then...**

**I forgot. **

**So yeah. Thank you, Grace the guest reviewer for all that stuff you said. Made me feel like a kicked puppy. But it was effective...So yeah. Have a cookie. *gives cookie***

**Disclaimer: Still don't own.**

* * *

Tamaki woke up to the wonderful sounds of singing birds and a nice warm ray of sunshine shining through the window. He sat up and stretched, a huge smile on his face, and bent over, petting Antoinette's head, waking up the large dog laying on the floor beside his bed.

"Morning, girl! Today's going to be so great~! Let's go wake up Ed!" He said, laughing happily and running down the hall, Antoinette at his heels. "Ed~~~! Rise and shine!" He shouted, bursting into the room.

"Get out." Ed snapped, his back to the door. Tamaki pouted.

"Whaaaat? No! Come on Ed! Today's a great day!" He whined, flopping onto the bed next to him. "Wake uuuuup!"

"No. Get out." He grumbled.

"Please?"

"Out." Tamaki sighed, sitting up.

"But...we're going over to Haruhi's house today...and I want you to come too..." he said pathetically, frowning.

"...just let me get one more hour of sleep, alright?" Ed pulled the blanket up over his head, giving in.

"Yes sir!" Tamaki said, instantly happy again. "I'll go and get breakfast started!"

"mhmm...go do that..." Ed mumbled, going back to sleep.

**30 MINUTES LATER**

"HARUHI'S HOUSE!" Tamaki cheered, dancing a little in his seat.

"I said an HOUR not half an hour!" Ed snapped, resisting the urge to punch the rich idiot sitting next to him.

"Yeah but everyone else was ready so I decided we should leave early~" Ed lay down across the seat, wondering why Tamaki didn't take the limo with the softer seats.

"Does Haruhi know that everyone's coming?" Ed asked, pulling the hood of his red coat up and covering his face with it.

"...Maybe." Tamaki answered after a pause.

"Idiot." Ed muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

**Sorry it's so short, but it's longer than I had originally wrote. I added more. So...words.**

**Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**yeah, I know it's horribly short. But to be honest, I'm losing inspiration for this one...So just...like...give me a long while to remember what I wanted to do with this. yep. anyway, i dont own either. **

* * *

Haruhi placed two more unmatching cups down on the table, sighing.

"Senpai, stop inviting yourselves over to my house. You all can have one cup of tea, but then you have to leave. I have errands to run..."

"But Haruhi!" Tamaki whined, hugging her tightly, much to the girl's displeasure.

"No buts! Let go!"

"Tamaki, I told you it wasn't a good idea." Ed said, pulling the taller blonde off of Haruhi.

"But Haruhi, daddy misses you when we don't have school..."

"Senpai...it's only the weekend..."

"So? That's a long time..."

"No it isn't, it's just two days." Ed grumbled, taking a sip of the tea he had been given.

"Who asked you shorty?" Tamaki shouted.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE HAS TO GET A LADDER TO BE BIGGER THAN A CELL?!" Tamaki made a squealing noise, hiding in his corner of solitude.

"Eddy-chan, no one said that." Honey chimed in, before going back to asking Mori if he thought Usa-chan wanted tea too.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm going to be taking a break from both of my current crossovers. I can't get any ideas for either or get any of the ideas I have written, and I haven't really read or watched any of the series involved in the two in a long time so I'm having trouble getting into them. It may be a long time until I update them, but I promise I am not abandoning them. I'll try hard to write something good and long for you all to read when I'm able to work with these again. Thanks for being so awesome, my lovely readers.**

**Bye for now**


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